How To Recognize and Deal With A Man Who Has Bipolar Disorder

By Cucan Pemo, author of "500 Secrets About Men"

Bipolar disorder is one of the most frustrating, elusive, and wildly misunderstood illnesses in the book. If you’re in love with a man battling bipolar disorder, it's important to understand exactly what the illness entails, and how it may affect your relationship.

What is bipolar disorder?

People suffering from bipolar disorder experience intense mood swings. One moment they may feel manic and happy, the next, horribly depressed (manic depression). Sometimes they experience are mixed episodes, feeling both manic and depressed at the same time. The culprit is a chemical imbalance in the brain, resulting in an extreme range of emotions and accompanying behaviors, stemming from a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

There are different classifications of the disorder – bipolar disorder 1, bipolar disorder II, hypomania, and cyclothymic disorder. Some people experience more severe cases of bipolar disorder with persistent episodes, while others experience much less frequent, less intense mood swings.

What are the bipolar symptoms?

The primary symptom of bipolar disorder is clinical depression – feelings of sadness, hopelessness and despair, accompanied by fatigue, insomnia, changes in appetite, difficulty paying attention, anxiety and apathy. Bipolar disorder differs from ordinary depression in that the episodes tend to last for shorter periods of time, but are considerably more intense.

How can you cope with his disease?

When the man you love is experiencing a manic episode, he’ll feel more creative, but also be more daring. Sometimes he’ll engage in risky behavior, spending money frivolously, engaging in promiscuity, or even acting out violently. These behaviors are then followed by feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. More conventional illnesses are often more easily accepted by friends and family members. But a mental illness like bipolar disorder can alienate even those closest to the sufferer. It's can be difficult to remain sympathetic towards someone who appears to be deliberately creating chaos in your home.

If he hasn’t sought regular medical treatment for his bipolar disorder, strongly encourage him to do so. Medications reduce the severity and frequency of manic and depressive episodes, but because bipolar disorder is so unpredictable, his doctor will need to monitor him closely to make sure the prescribed drugs are working, and that the dosages are correct.

Then you must learn to be compassionate. Your boyfriend or husband, perhaps even the father of your children, is suffering from a disease. You shouldn't think it any differently than you would cancer or another serious illness. But while you must be as supportive as possible, you must also protect yourself from him during his episodes. Have a plan for what to do in these situations. Remind yourself – and him – that his episode is just that, an episode, and it will pass.

Can he be cured?

For now, bipolar disorder cannot be cured, only treated. But the prognosis for those affected by the disorder is generally good. While those with bipolar disorder are at a higher risk for suicide and heart problems, with treatment their chances of living a long, happy life are excellent. Talk to a doctor, learn the risks and, with your compassion and understanding, the two of you can have a long, happy relationship.

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