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How to Meet Women
With No Rejection
Prejudice. What do you think of when you hear
this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad
feelings. It used to do the same for me,
too...Before
I give up one of my secrets, I want to talk about a dirty word
with you.
Well, it's not a cuss word, but it's dirty because no one wants
to talk about it.
That word is: Prejudice.
What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of
people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do
the same for me, too.
I grew up Italian and poor in a city in Upstate New York, near
Buffalo. I used to catch a lot of grief for my nationality, but
also because we had no money.
I remember distinctly one summer when I was working for the
town. I had a few weeks left in the program to earn some money,
and I was a po' little 15 year old kid. I just needed a few
bucks to buy some stuff I needed for the school year.
I remember sitting in the office of the town recreation board
supervisor. A big fat guy named Ron, if my memory serves. I sat
there in his front lobby for a while to wait and see if I would
get the job for a little longer that year.
Before my turn came to talk to Ron to find out, in walks big
Vinny. No, that's no dumb mafia joke. Vinny was the son of a
local business owner who had some clout in the area. Well, big
Vinny and Big Daddy go into Ron's office, while I watch Ron
slap Vinny's dad on the back like they were long-lost brothers.
The door closes behind them and their laughter.
My heart sank.
Right then, I knew I didn't get the job. Vinny was all set, and
Carlos was out in the cold.
I remember sitting there with that disappointed feeling in my
gut, knowing that this little rich kid was going to screw me
out of my few extra dollars for the summer. Money that daddy
could have given him in a minute, but would take me a month to
earn.
And now I wouldn't get it, and there wasn't a thing I could do
about it. It was the good ol' boy's club, and I didn't meet
their membership requirements.
Now, I could have gotten all mad about it, stomped my feet
about it not being "fair," and all. It really wasn't even
Vinnie's fault. He couldn't know.
But I remember having another realization. I thought that if
Ron was stupid enough to hire a lazy dweeb like Vinny, then
they can keep their lousy job.
Of course, that wasn't much consolation. Until I came up with
another realization: I would WIN.
No matter how much the odds were stacked against me in life, I
would prevail. I could have my dick kicked in the dirt, and I
would get back up again.
So why am I telling you this? Yet another of Carlos' childhood
stories... Well, it's because the unfair situation that I found
myself in doesn't have to happen to you. Even if it comes up in
another way.
You're a victim of women's prejudice, and you might not
be aware of it. Just the same way I was as a kid, you
are now. And it has nothing to do with your appearance or color
of skin or even your income.
Let's break down the word a bit.
Pre-jud-ice.
Pre-judge.
To judge too soon.
Get this: It's been shown in some recent studies that
we make snap decisions about people based on facial expressions
and body language that takes place in less than the BLINK OF AN
EYE. Literally.
I just finished this great book, "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell.
It's a study of how the human brain makes all these complicated
decisions without us even knowing about it.
In his book, he talks about these indicators and signals that
we don't know we're seeing, but we're making judgments about
other people based upon them.
Now something I want to add to this is that women are making
them about YOU without you knowing about it.
Some of them will change if you take control of them, but a lot
of them are tied DIRECTLY to your sense of self-esteem. You'll
show them because they're impossible to control entirely.
Whoah. Think about that for a second. There are a bunch of
things you can control about your appearance and so forth, but
a lot of these behaviors are OUTSIDE your control. (Well, not
completely, as I'll explain.)
I think this means that a lot of guys out there are treating
the symptoms rather than the disease.
And that's exactly what you're doing if you are trying to learn
a ton of new "tricks" and seduction/hypnosis tools without
training yourself and working on your INNER game first. All
those cool hypnotic words and "negging" techniques don't work
right if you don't know how to properly communicate your Alpha
value to a woman.
Sure, you can "peacock," but you have to have the right belief
system to back it up or you'll come across as a dweeb in a top
hat and eye-liner.
There's some good news here, though. You can learn how
to override a woman's "Blink" response to you by bypassing it
entirely.
That's right. When you demonstrate Alpha Male
confidence, you are creating the persona (a REAL persona, not a
fake) that will shut down or short circuit her subconscious
attempts to shut you out of her life.
After all, on one hand, a woman wants love and affection and
all that comes with it ...
... but on the other hand she also wants a trouble-free life.
She has enough drama already, and she wants to avoid any
possible heartache. So she creates a lot of fancy protection
mechanisms to keep you from getting by without impressing her
in the right way.
Just like a rock concert where you can't get past the big dudes
guarding the band from groupies.
All you need is a backstage pass. That
backstage pass is a concise method to approach women in any
situation. To show, through your verbal power, that you are
-
- Confident
- Secure
- Interesting
- Fun
For a long time, I had a problem talking with women. They
just seemed like an alien life form to me. They liked
makeup and sleepovers and pop songs about "girl power."
I felt like I had nothing in common with them.
But I finally figured out the amazing core elements of good
conversation, and they work like a charm on just about
everyone you'll meet. These elements can be learned and
practiced with just about anyone, anywhere.
Here's one of them: Start with a contextual
"opener."
What is a contextual opener? Well, it's one that obeys the
rule of "Where the hell are you?"
In other words, if you want to walk up to that girl at the
grocery store and say hello, don't ask her if she saw the
fight out front. Don't tell her you want to read her palm.
Those are club openers that would sound stupid in the
Safeway meat section.
Instead, make sure the opener fits the situation. Not only
will it work better, but you'll be much more believable
with the words. It's a lot easier to talk about the real
world around you than try to make up something dumb.
"Hey, have you tried that new high-quality roast beef
they sell here? I'm planning a party and I want to know if
it would be good to put on the platter."
There you go.
Does it make her toes tingle and her ni pples pop out? No.
But it makes SENSE for where you ARE. And she'll be much
more likely to respond.
Now, after she responds, chances are that she'll be
a little overwhelmed by this unexpected interest and may be
a bit bashful. (Guys often misinterpret a woman's
shyness as disinterest.) This is where you have to reassure
her and carry the conversation forward.
"Now if I'd known you weren't an expert on deli meats I
would have asked someone else. But hey, you looked
friendly." Shrug and say this with a slight smile.
"Are you here doing some shopping after work?"
And just gently carry it forward...
Carlos Xuma is a well-known
expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of
bestselling titles such as "Secrets of
the Alpha Male", "Approach
Women - NOW!",
"Alpha
Immersion" and
"Alpha Man
Communication & Persuasion".
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