Solving Relationship Problem

What Triggers Fight & How To Settle Them - Keeping Your Relationship With Your Spouse 0r Lover Harmonious!

by Cucan Pemo -- author of Bring Back a Lost Love

Falling into a relationship is easy, but maintaining a relationship requires delicate care and skills. The process can be likened to tending to your garden and keeping a garden of beautiful roses which will turn heads around.

The task of creating and building that magical relationship does not come easy but is not difficult if you would just learn the right ways to build a harmonious relationship that lasts.

Find out what could trigger fight in a relationship and how to settle them to avoid all those pain and heartache and
unnecessary misunderstandings which might eventually ruin a relationship.

(1) You want to win all time, giving in is losing your stand

Nobody likes to lose. Losing hurts our ego, and it will do all it can to defend itself, to fight for itself, and to argue its way through until it makes sure that it gets its way. However, this hurts your partner's ego too. It, too, wants to defend itself, fight for itself, and to argue its way through. It simply will not let go. So if you want to stop the fighting, you have to be the one to initiate that! Better still, keep quiet. Your partner will soon stop fighting once he/she is not able to find anyone to reason or fight with when you just keep quiet.

(2) One of you is insistent in doing things your own way

Each of us always has reasons for doing certain things. If you do not like what you see in your partner's attitude or behavior, change that, within you! Change your perceptions about what you are seeing and how you think about it! You might not be able to change your partner, but you can change how you feel inside of you. You can offer your suggestions, your opinions, but try not to go against their person. Let them know that it is their behavior or attitude that you are against, but not against their persons. Always remember, if you live your life always wanting to change other people, you never learn to see the goodness or beauty of people and things around you.

(3) You or your spouse is under pressure or stress

We tend to vent our anger or frustrations that we have over somebody or something on our spouse or lover, whether we do it consciously or unconsciously. If your spouse is the one under stress or pressure, try to see from their point of view. Instead of starting a fight for no real reasons, try to help them cope with the frustration or problems they are facing. It is useful to remind yourself that you can lend a listening ear. If you are the one having any stress or encountering difficulties, it is a good idea to let your spouse know so he or she could try to see from your point of view too and to share your burden. In short, do not keep everything to yourself.

(4) One of you is not sensitive to your partner's feelings

If your spouse or lover is insensitive to your feelings, you would think that they do not care or that they are ignorant. So you question them and start picking a fight. Be aware! You are solely responsible for your own feelings. Your spouse or your lover does not owe you your feelings. Let them know how you feel should they do something which you deem undesirable and unpleasant. Open up and talk to your partner. Focus on effective communication instead.

Always remember that patience and tolerance is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. To start a fight and to sustain a fight you need another person to fight with. Thus if you really, really, really want to stop a fight. Be the person who wants to stop it and just let go of all your frustration and anger. Your spouse or lover cannot continue fighting if there is no other person for them to fight against. It takes two hands to make a clapping sound! Remind yourself, if you do not want the clapping sound, you can just remove one of your hands. Who makes the decision? You!

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